I woke up covered in human grease. Did I mention that the Chateau Ghetto is hot hell hole with no A/C? Now I know what it was like to be in Abu Ghraib, I mean, minus the fun and entertainment of human pyramids and snarling dogs and shit.
So, Bob and I are expanding out horizons beyond the entertainment business and throwing our hat into the realm of politics. A politician’s tour bus drove by us today, and we immediately, blindly threw our support behind him. We knew nothing about who he was, or what he stood for. We don’t even know if he’s democrat or republican. All we know is that his name is Rodney Glassman and we’re behind him 100 percent. I’m dead serious about this, too. In today’s confusing political times, with so many points of view and agendas flying around, we’re offering the public a refreshing escape from the norm. Forget about your petty belief systems and ignorant opinions about various social issues. Support this guy simply because he is now a part of our story. Free yourself from the shackles of today’s cleverly arranged political systems and get out there and spread the word about this man, no matter who the fuck he turns out to be.
I drove us down to Tucson where we met up with another former BGGW skater and pal, Ellie (a.k.a. Clownsnack). We don’t have a screening in Tucson. There was a hole in the scheduling and shit just didn’t fly straight. But we had a day off and both Chad and I are pals with Ellie, and the way Phoenix folks shit-talk their own town and praise Tucson, why the hell wouldn’t we hang here for the night?
Clownsnack’s pipes busted and flooded her house. Her water pipes, she tells. So she got a Motel Room.
We got to Tucson and rendezvoused with our host, Ellie Kenworth, also known as Clownsnack in roller derby circles. I say we rendezvoused with her like it was no big problem, but in actuality, Bob and I were so fucking stoned on weed and hash when we drove into Tucson, that we accidentally pulled into an old folks home next door to the hotel she was staying in, and seriously drove around in circles for about fifteen minutes looking for her room number, talking about “This bitch is crazy.” And “What kind of fucked up hotel is this?” Anyway, Ellie has been on hiatus, but here is a video hello to all her friends back in Austin:
When we swung by Ellie’s house, I took time out to video the garden of succulents that was out front. There were succulents all over Tucson, even before Ellie moved to town. Anyway, enjoy the two videos, and keep an eye out for the big surprise in the second one. Incidentally, the big surprise in the second one is dedicated to Shade Degges, who we missed on our trip to L.A. Shade is the only friend who got an excused absence for missing us on the L.A. leg of the trip. The unexcused absence list includes, but is not limited to: Roxanne Hilburn, Joseph Perales, Cristina Urioste, Jason Self, and Kevin Fucking Stack. We got totally L.A.-ed by these fuckers. No, but seriously guys, we’ll catch y’all next time. Shade, enjoy the bird. (Shade and I were supposed to fag out and watch birds together in California, and I even brought my bird watching book and everything and yes, I ruined the surprise, it’s a dove nested in the cactuses.)
Anyway, Bob, Ellie, and I went out on the town that night in Tucson. You may remember how fucking exhausted I was in Phoenix… When Ellie told us she had some adderall, I viewed it as a strictly medical endeavor. I was thinking, sure I’ll take one of these pills and at most, maybe it will put a little spring back in my step. Well, turns out, I was on fucking cocaine all night. We pulled into the parking lot at The Shelter, and I realized I was chewing my own fucking face off in a manner which I haven’t in over a year and a half, plus I had the panicky, racy thoughts and all the other wonderful things that come along with a nice cocaine or speed buzz. I spent all night telling Bob and Ellie, “Thanks a lot, fuckers, I’m on coke!” The upside was that when we got back to the hotel, we still had enough energy bottled up to shoot a frame-by-frame remake of a classic Hollywood scene. I’m sure Bob slapped it in here somewhere…
I think I have ADD.