Tag Archive: BGGW

10:44 AM

I woke up covered in human grease. Did I mention that the Chateau Ghetto is hot hell hole with no A/C?  Now I know what it was like to be in Abu Ghraib, I mean, minus the fun and entertainment of human pyramids and snarling dogs and shit.

3:44 PM

So, Bob and I are expanding out horizons beyond the entertainment business and throwing our hat into the realm of politics. A politician’s tour bus drove by us today, and we immediately, blindly threw our support behind him. We knew nothing about who he was, or what he stood for. We don’t even know if he’s democrat or republican. All we know is that his name is Rodney Glassman and we’re behind him 100 percent. I’m dead serious about this, too. In today’s confusing political times, with so many points of view and agendas flying around, we’re offering the public a refreshing escape from the norm. Forget about your petty belief systems and ignorant opinions about various social issues. Support this guy simply because he is now a part of our story. Free yourself from the shackles of today’s cleverly arranged political systems and get out there and spread the word about this man, no matter who the fuck he turns out to be.

4:11 PM

I drove us down to Tucson where we met up with another former BGGW skater and pal, Ellie (a.k.a. Clownsnack).  We don’t have a screening in Tucson. There was a hole in the scheduling and shit just didn’t fly straight.  But we had a day off and both Chad and I are pals with Ellie, and the way Phoenix folks shit-talk their own town and praise Tucson, why the hell wouldn’t we hang here for the night?

Clownsnack’s pipes busted and flooded her house. Her water pipes, she tells.  So she got a Motel Room.

6:33 PM

We got to Tucson and rendezvoused with our host, Ellie Kenworth, also known as Clownsnack in roller derby circles. I say we rendezvoused with her like it was no big problem, but in actuality, Bob and I were so fucking stoned on weed and hash when we drove into Tucson, that we accidentally pulled into an old folks home next door to the hotel she was staying in, and seriously drove around in circles for about fifteen minutes looking for her room number, talking about “This bitch is crazy.” And “What kind of fucked up hotel is this?” Anyway, Ellie has been on hiatus, but here is a video hello to all her friends back in Austin:

When we swung by Ellie’s house, I took time out to video the garden of succulents that was out front. There were succulents all over Tucson, even before Ellie moved to town. Anyway, enjoy the two videos, and keep an eye out for the big surprise in the second one. Incidentally, the big surprise in the second one is dedicated to Shade Degges, who we missed on our trip to L.A. Shade is the only friend who got an excused absence for missing us on the L.A. leg of the trip. The unexcused absence list includes, but is not limited to: Roxanne Hilburn, Joseph Perales, Cristina Urioste, Jason Self, and Kevin Fucking Stack. We got totally L.A.-ed by these fuckers. No, but seriously guys, we’ll catch y’all next time. Shade, enjoy the bird. (Shade and I were supposed to fag out and watch birds together in California, and I even brought my bird watching book and everything and yes, I ruined the surprise, it’s a dove nested in the cactuses.)

11:23 PM

Anyway, Bob, Ellie, and I went out on the town that night in Tucson. You may remember how fucking exhausted I was in Phoenix… When Ellie told us she had some adderall, I viewed it as a strictly medical endeavor. I was thinking, sure I’ll take one of these pills and at most, maybe it will put a little spring back in my step. Well, turns out, I was on fucking cocaine all night. We pulled into the parking lot at The Shelter, and I realized I was chewing my own fucking face off in a manner which I haven’t in over a year and a half, plus I had the panicky, racy thoughts and all the other wonderful things that come along with a nice cocaine or speed buzz. I spent all night telling Bob and Ellie, “Thanks a lot, fuckers, I’m on coke!” The upside was that when we got back to the hotel, we still had enough energy bottled up to shoot a frame-by-frame remake of a classic Hollywood scene. I’m sure Bob slapped it in here somewhere…

4:21 AM

I think I have ADD.

11:13 AM

We got up early, said goodbyes and hit the fucking road.  I think we left a scar on L.A.  L.A. probably left a scar on us.  If not a scar, at least a stain.  It was a special relationship.

When we rolled into town we had a shitload of weed.  We had been piling it up since we left Austin.  Chad was gifted a baggie of Seattle’s finest.  In S.F., we scored a nugget of hash.  Add that to the overabundance of k.b. I brought and the freezer-bag of shwag that Chad has been dragging across the country like roadkill stuck in the wheel well of the car, and we had ourselves a nice little pile of dope.

But in L.A., our pile met its match.  Our pile barely put up a fight.  Without sullying the good reputation of one of my pals by naming names, I’ll just say that we ran into the great weed huffer of the West.  Over the course of the next few days… weed was horfed.  Almost all of it.  I think there was about one bowl left by the time we had to pack it up and split.  We didn’t mind toooo much, but fuck, we did need enough weed to carry us through Sheriff Joe Shut-your-pie-hole’s AZ and back home to Texas.

Our gracious iron-lunged friend/fiend did score us a sack of super-sweet bud.  And, Chad, in a moment of clarity, had the foresight to hide a wee amount of the hash.  So we’re good again. This should do.  There are only five days left.  And with luck, we’ll cross paths with more goodness.

11:14 AM

Well, we headed out of L.A. relatively early in order to make it to the screening in Phoenix later on in the evening. Will [last  name redacted] and I had woke up at a local girl’s house. I’ve been hanging out with this girl on and off since I’ve been in L.A. but she’d always come meet us out somewhere and then go home before the end of the night. Luckily last night, Will was so fucked up, I was basically able to use him like a wounded animal or retarded person or some shit that simply wouldn’t be able to survive out overnight unless we took him to her house. He and I went to an In and Out Burger for a little going away breakfast and then I met up with Bob and we split the City of Angels for good. The drive out to Phoenix was all a big blur, just as the entire trip has become at this point, and I feel like the following video depicts all of that, especially through the lens of writing this journal, which has started to suck my fucking dick to be quite honest. Oh, the journal itself is decent. It’s the writing of the journal that’s really starting to suck, and not in one of those awesome okcupid blowjobs on the first date in the bar parking lot kind of ways, but a bad one. Here, check it out:

11:11 PM

To be quite honest, after the orgasm that was the L.A. leg of the trip, I didn’t really give a shit what happened after that.  We came.  We conquered.  We left a stink behind.  And we escaped without a parking ticket or jail time.  Mission mother-fucking accomplished.  But Tempe had some fun in store for us. And we got our own prison-ish room for the night to top it all off.

Andrea (a.k.a. Midnight Move Mamacita) scored us a crash-pad.  It turns out that a co-worker’s friend manages an apartment complex and someone had just moved out.  Aw, here, just watch the video:

Back at the MADCAP Theater, we geared up for the show.  The cinema always gives away prizes before the screenings and it was thrust upon us to figure out a way to dole out the goods.  And once it was thrust upon us, I quickly deflected all responsibility to Chad.  This responsibility burden was starting to wear on me.

Nicola Sixx (a.k.a. Suzy Homewrecker from the BGGW days of Lonestar Rollergilrs) came out to the screening.  That was fucking cool.  She’s always came out to support and has hooked me up when I’m in the PHX area.   Thanks!

Hell on Wheels finished up and I did a little Q&A.  Despite Chad’s awesome intro/trivia/prize giveaway, once we forked over the remainder of the prizes, nearly every fucker left.  Fuckers.

On one of my first visits to PHX I met Suzy Homewrecker’s pals Worm and Honey.  They have always been down for the cause.  Worm even let me crash at his house several years back and drove me to the airport.  I hadn’t seen him in a while, so it was fucking cool to see him wander up to the screening. After the screening, we headed down to the bar and that has a ghost infestation and drank some beers.

11:58 PM

The Phoenix showing was pleasant, and Brazoswood’s own Farrah Fiegner showed up. The theatre manager was a beautiful woman with a sexy accent who was very nice to us. They gave us free reign on everything in the snack bar and I’ve never had such power lavished upon me. I’m actually reaching at this point, because as pictures and video will point out, I was so fucking exhausted from our time in Los Angeles that I basically sleptwalked through Phoenix. I think this is a great opportunity for Bob to take over the reins and showcase some of his writing abilities.

2:17 AM

Judging by the circumstantial evidence, most certainly Chad has scraped-up Chepo’s Xanax dust when no one was looking in L.A. and smeared a fistful of powder across his mouth like a fucking savage tonight.