Tag Archive: San Francisco


11:13 AM
BOB:

We got up early, said goodbyes and hit the fucking road.  I think we left a scar on L.A.  L.A. probably left a scar on us.  If not a scar, at least a stain.  It was a special relationship.

When we rolled into town we had a shitload of weed.  We had been piling it up since we left Austin.  Chad was gifted a baggie of Seattle’s finest.  In S.F., we scored a nugget of hash.  Add that to the overabundance of k.b. I brought and the freezer-bag of shwag that Chad has been dragging across the country like roadkill stuck in the wheel well of the car, and we had ourselves a nice little pile of dope.

But in L.A., our pile met its match.  Our pile barely put up a fight.  Without sullying the good reputation of one of my pals by naming names, I’ll just say that we ran into the great weed huffer of the West.  Over the course of the next few days… weed was horfed.  Almost all of it.  I think there was about one bowl left by the time we had to pack it up and split.  We didn’t mind toooo much, but fuck, we did need enough weed to carry us through Sheriff Joe Shut-your-pie-hole’s AZ and back home to Texas.

Our gracious iron-lunged friend/fiend did score us a sack of super-sweet bud.  And, Chad, in a moment of clarity, had the foresight to hide a wee amount of the hash.  So we’re good again. This should do.  There are only five days left.  And with luck, we’ll cross paths with more goodness.

11:14 AM
CHAD:

Well, we headed out of L.A. relatively early in order to make it to the screening in Phoenix later on in the evening. Will [last  name redacted] and I had woke up at a local girl’s house. I’ve been hanging out with this girl on and off since I’ve been in L.A. but she’d always come meet us out somewhere and then go home before the end of the night. Luckily last night, Will was so fucked up, I was basically able to use him like a wounded animal or retarded person or some shit that simply wouldn’t be able to survive out overnight unless we took him to her house. He and I went to an In and Out Burger for a little going away breakfast and then I met up with Bob and we split the City of Angels for good. The drive out to Phoenix was all a big blur, just as the entire trip has become at this point, and I feel like the following video depicts all of that, especially through the lens of writing this journal, which has started to suck my fucking dick to be quite honest. Oh, the journal itself is decent. It’s the writing of the journal that’s really starting to suck, and not in one of those awesome okcupid blowjobs on the first date in the bar parking lot kind of ways, but a bad one. Here, check it out:

11:11 PM
BOB:

To be quite honest, after the orgasm that was the L.A. leg of the trip, I didn’t really give a shit what happened after that.  We came.  We conquered.  We left a stink behind.  And we escaped without a parking ticket or jail time.  Mission mother-fucking accomplished.  But Tempe had some fun in store for us. And we got our own prison-ish room for the night to top it all off.

Andrea (a.k.a. Midnight Move Mamacita) scored us a crash-pad.  It turns out that a co-worker’s friend manages an apartment complex and someone had just moved out.  Aw, here, just watch the video:

Back at the MADCAP Theater, we geared up for the show.  The cinema always gives away prizes before the screenings and it was thrust upon us to figure out a way to dole out the goods.  And once it was thrust upon us, I quickly deflected all responsibility to Chad.  This responsibility burden was starting to wear on me.

Nicola Sixx (a.k.a. Suzy Homewrecker from the BGGW days of Lonestar Rollergilrs) came out to the screening.  That was fucking cool.  She’s always came out to support and has hooked me up when I’m in the PHX area.   Thanks!

Hell on Wheels finished up and I did a little Q&A.  Despite Chad’s awesome intro/trivia/prize giveaway, once we forked over the remainder of the prizes, nearly every fucker left.  Fuckers.

On one of my first visits to PHX I met Suzy Homewrecker’s pals Worm and Honey.  They have always been down for the cause.  Worm even let me crash at his house several years back and drove me to the airport.  I hadn’t seen him in a while, so it was fucking cool to see him wander up to the screening. After the screening, we headed down to the bar and that has a ghost infestation and drank some beers.

11:58 PM
CHAD

The Phoenix showing was pleasant, and Brazoswood’s own Farrah Fiegner showed up. The theatre manager was a beautiful woman with a sexy accent who was very nice to us. They gave us free reign on everything in the snack bar and I’ve never had such power lavished upon me. I’m actually reaching at this point, because as pictures and video will point out, I was so fucking exhausted from our time in Los Angeles that I basically sleptwalked through Phoenix. I think this is a great opportunity for Bob to take over the reins and showcase some of his writing abilities.

2:17 AM
BOB:

Judging by the circumstantial evidence, most certainly Chad has scraped-up Chepo’s Xanax dust when no one was looking in L.A. and smeared a fistful of powder across his mouth like a fucking savage tonight.

Advertisements

11:41 PM
BOB:

Hey, ya know what?  It’s a lot easier to take a bunch of pics and only write a little, as opposed to the other way around. Also, I was high out of my mind for the last few days. So… something.

We said our see-ya-laters to Derick and Cate and S.F.

11:45 PM
CHAD:

Goodbye, San Francisco! You were a wonderful city. Oh, and could you mail me my dick? I think I left it sitting on the night stand at the hotel… Thanks

5:19 PM
CHAD:

Here is some footage of the scenery along The Pacific Coast Highway. You know the one …






I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the people whom I begged for money before leaving town. These include John from Elysium/Valhalla, Jason from Jackalope/Chupacabra, Nordstrom from Club Deville, Steve from Headhunters and Dave from Trophy’s. I didn’t actually get any ad money from Dave, I just sort of took 50 bucks off of the 250 that I owe him. That’s right, I took money from a dying man. Also, I got some help from my friends at Affordable Sound and my sister gave me a hundred bucks, re-establishing the inter-family pecking order more to her liking. Talk to y’all soon. CHAD

6:34 PM
BOB:

We took the scenic rout, a.k.a. the Pacific Coast highway.  Snap, snap.




11:45 PM
BOB:

That disgustingly beautiful ride took 11 fucking hours.  But, we made it to L.A. and met up with my filmmaker pals Jesse Blanco and Laura Lance.

Thanks to Jesse and Laura for letting us crash in their bad-ass pad tonight and the next several nights.

4:58 PM
BOB:

The previous 17 hours should read as:

The drive was more than worth it as I immediately [XXXX-REDACTED-XXXXX].  Holy shit, I [XXXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] flipped her [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX]!!!  It was [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX], but the judo-like [XXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]. [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] balls.  Fingers [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX].  Fuck yes! [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]?!?!?!? [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]. Dripping [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] and the makeshift catapult-like device [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX].

The sneak-attack [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] Grant’s Pass [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] rendezvous.  Endless hours of [XXXXXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] spraying Y’s all over the place. [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] having crossed state lines with [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] nefarious intent.

[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] perhaps illegal in some states [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] a dangerous move for a novice, but for a pro, [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] limber and oiled-up [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] figure-four leg lock [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] python. [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] shocker [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX]. It was not a [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX]!!!

Round Seven: [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] marathon [XXXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] got rough. [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] choke [XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] drained. [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] slew of options [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX].

One for the books, I [XXXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX] never forget.  [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXX]!!! Partly excited and nervous [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX], thrust and parry and jab  [XXXXXXXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]. [XXXXXX-REDACTED-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] and balls.

6:12 PM
BOB:

Late in the afternoon, I got back to S.F.

More weed.  More hash.  We have encountered a dog shit sized hunk of hash.  It is our new best friend.  We are now walking around high as fuck.

Walked to Fisherman’s Wharf:

More walking around:

We’re gonna walk to pretty bridge-looking thing they have here.

It’s right over there.

Saw a broken horse:

And some houses that have the faces of robots:

We saw some boats:

Hey!  There’s the Explode-atorium:

Here it comes that bridge.

Not far now.

Right around the corner.

Got high in this “forest.”



More beautiful S.F.:

Almost to that fucking bridge…

Here it comes:

It’s close now:

Real close:

Here it is.  Check it out:





Cliff caught up with us.  Apparently he chased us for miles and miles.

We probably walked about 15 miles today.  Some of the team (ahem) had enough, so we decided to get lost in a neighborhood and get a cop to call us a cab. Fun!  The cop wouldn’t give us a ride, so Cliff nearly had a heart attack.  Still, the cop wouldn’t help.

10:24PM
CHAD

So, I woke up today fully intending on taking a long walk. I wanted to walk from The Tenderloin to The Golden Gate Bridge, and then across the bridge, itself. It’s a long walk, but I have been going on long walks in all of these cities and it has been quite enjoyable. Well, this one turned out to be really fucking long, and I brought people with me. By the end of it, we were so lost in a “neighborhood” somewhere between the bridge and Chrissy Fields that we had to get a fucking cop to call a taxi to come out and pick us up. No, seriously we were sitting there waiting for a cab, thinking no cab would ever fucking be out here, when a cab pulls up, rolls down the window, and asks us how to get out of there. There was literally a fucking cab driver with people in the back lost out there, ok? It was hopeless. By far, the highlight of the night was when I was negotiating some help from the policeman, and Cliff just regressed back to his days on the street and ran up clutching his heart and shit, acting like he was having a heart attack and needed a ride to the hospital. The cop wasn’t buying the shit at all. Afterwards, I told Cliff he was supposed to wait until he was getting arrested to feign a heart attack. (Insert old black landlord joke here.) Anyway, we made it home that night eventually, and went out for one last night of partying in San Francisco.

12:58 AM
BOB:

We met up w/ Allen at his graduation party.  He goes to some college that teaches you all about freaking your brain out on drugs.  So we freaked out a bunch of college kids and ate their awesome food and drank their beer.


Also, while on stroll and influenced by the gay/weed/artiness of S.F., I took some art-faggy pics:





Help us spread the word!!! We have more screenings coming up and could use your help w/ promo:
http://crashcamfilms.com/filmtour2010.htm

12:01 PM
BOB:

The poolside cart has both a Total Badass and a Fiddlestixx (Zellner Brothers) sticker.


2:19 PM
BOB:

I walked around the Tenderloin today and ate some phở in a place that looks like it should not be allowed to serve food. It turns out that the phở was kick ass.  I usually skip the tendon and tripe phở in favor of the raw beef, but the language barrier was insurmountable, so I got all the chewy goods in my bowl.  And I ate that shit up.  It was pretty damn fine/gross.

Walking around the tenderloin makes me think I’m in Harlem circa 1976.  Not that I have any clue as to what Harlem was like in ’76, but this is what I imagine it to look like.

The more I walk around, the more I realize that S.F. is half filled with crazies, half filled with drunks/dopers and half filled with bums.  It’s kinda awesome, but considering that 150% of the population with nothing to lose and all have that hariy-eyeball look like they wanna skewer you with a rusty switchblade, it’s a tad scary.  But the good kinda scary, like auto-erotic asphyxiation.

4:34 PM
CHAD

Derek and I walked down to fisherman’s wharf this afternoon, and he did something very touching that I wanted to mention to everyone. We had just gotten a bowl of clam chowder, but not a normal bowl of it, rather a bread bowl. The bowl was made completely of bread. Derek bought this of course, just as he has bought about everything else we’ve consumed in San Francisco, because he is an extremely generous man. When we were done eating, he walked over to a trashcan with his bread bowl, but instead of putting it in the can, he placed it on top of it and said, “I’m going to leave that there, in case a bum wants it.” Throughout the day, I saw numerous pigeons, gulls and bums all feeding on discarded bread bowls. I even saw a waterlogged bread bowl in the bay being nosed by a couple of sea lions. Apparently, an entire ecosystem has built up around the bread bowls of fisherman’s wharf. Here’s three or four minutes of relaxing sea lion video for those of you languishing away at your desks and receptacles:

8:49 PM
BOB:

I left Chad in San Fran and drove out to Sacramento.   I’m pretty sure Chad is doing fine all by himself.  He’s probably fucking something right now, in fact. Meanwhile, I’m in the lobby of the Majestic Theater (at the Tower Theater), and it’s a big crowd with loads of derby gals.  Hopefully, I’ll land a crash-pad and won’t have to drive back to S.F tonight. TBD.

11:59PM
CHAD

Ended up meeting with Austin’s own Nesta Gerberding tonight, and she came out with me and a couple of local ladies I’ve been hanging out with. We all went bar hopping in “The Lower Height” and much fun was had by all. Oh! I broke up a fight!! I always hate it when I see fight videos on the internet because I feel like the people taping or watching the fight should be breaking it up. Well, I found myself in the unique position of being the guy taping the fight, but was still compelled to break it up. I know some of you would have preferred I get all the fight on tape, so I made a compromise. I took out the camera and recorded a couple seconds of action as I approached the guys, then put the camera back in my pocket and broke it up. Here:


Also, I ate a box of Chinese food that someone left on the bar, falling back on survival skills I learned in Seattle:

Help us spread the word!!! We have more screenings coming up and could use your help w/ promo:
http://crashcamfilms.com/filmtour2010.htm

2:47 PM
BOB

At one point last night, I was completely convinced that I could have walked away with all the gals we were partying with. All in one fell swoop of an orgy. Me. Gals. Bail. Orgy.

But, I woke up in another girl’s room this morning. Pink.
Saw a bird:

Saw some flowers:

Saw a bridge:

But last night, I did fuck up.  Being in S.F. when Prop 8 falls, being invited to a DBSM bar with a gaggle of rollergirls, I think I missed a few choice opportunities.  Even so, I had some good fun.  I’m pretty sure I got gay-married last night.

I look forward to meeting back up with Chesty and seeing what kinda trouble we can stir up tonight.

4:19 PM
BOB:

Walked around SF.  No lie:


5:37 PM
BOB:

Encountered a Texas festival:


6:19 PM
BOB:

Saw more S.F. shit:

5:15 PM
BOB:

Chad and I cussed it up on a radio show for Milk of Minutia: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/minutia

I saw this sidewalk wound:

6:36PM
CHAD

Today we went down to The Embarcadero to meet Samir and see The Old 97’s play and it all turned out to be this big fuckfest of a Texas tourism promotion. There was a whole little fair set up trying to convince people to travel to Texas. I love Texas and don’t even mind The Old 97’s, but neither of them looked very good associated with this piece of shit of an event. However, it did lead to some funny pictures and vids…

7:25 PM
BOB:

Chad did the intro again tonight.  He has a way of getting the crowd juiced up for a fun and funny movie.  Lively, huh?  Chad really knows how to charm an audience.

11:01 PM
BOB:

We had some drinks w/ Chesty.  No pics, damn it.  Turns out I didn’t miss the gay bondage bar last night after all.  It was a bust.

More (drunk) walking around:

11:37PM
CHAD

Another night screening at The Roxie. This time, there were about seven people we’ve never seen in our lives there, plus friends, including Brazoswood’s own Annette Music. Late that night, we went to a gay bar called Deco right by the Phoenix Hotel where we have been crashing with Derek. It was me, Bob and Cliff and I know this sounds like the beginning of a gay rock-climbing joke, but the fuckers at Deco go all out with their karaoke. They had three or four wardrobe racks full of costumes you could put on… everything from Talking Heads to Tina Turner. Cliff got dressed up in his best Meatloaf outfit, but we ran out of time before he could duet Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.

2:47 AM
BOB:

I made up for missing out on gay bondage last night by diving into to a gay karaoke bar in the shit hole known as the Tenderloin. The bar is called Deco, and even though we were sure it’s be filled with pussy, it was packed with wiener. Speaking of meat, Cliff was fired up about doing a Meatloaf song.  He even got gussied up for the gig.


They snubbed poor ol’ Cliff.  They never got to his song.  I guess they weren’t into Meatloaf (?).  But we did see this killer song:

Then I saw these two robot lovers in the gay bathroom:

Oh yeah, a cool article in MovieMaker Magazine came out today, check it:
https://www.moviemaker.com/distribution/article/bob_ray_total_badass_down_dirty_austin_film_tour_20100802

Did you know that San Francisco is frezzing-tits cold? It’s fucking 57º in the DAY in AUGUST!!!! WTF?!?!

Help us spread the word!!! We have more screenings coming up and could use your help w/ promo:
http://crashcamfilms.com/filmtour2010.htm