NOTE: This entry could be is considered (NC 17). More importantly, the lovely ladies referenced in this entry are in NO way associated with the sexually explicit content.

10:30 AM – CHAD:
Let’s go ahead and start this day out the way all days should be started on a road trip:

7:08 PM – CHAD:
Despite the wonderful review we received from New Orleans’ The Gambit, the number of people who showed up for Total Badass was barely enough to fill an egg carton. However, in that baker’s dozen, we had much quality. Austin expatriates Sarah Odem, Jimmy Bradshaw and Champ Superstar were there along with friends. Far and away the biggest surprise of any of our tour stops so far was when Brazoswood’s own Jeff Collard pulled in from Mississippi. I know it sounds improbable, but here’s proof:

9:48 PM – CHAD:
I’m not sure what went wrong, but Bob and I seem to have missed the Q and A for Total Badass in New Orleans. One minute we were at a calendar signing party with a bunch of roller derby girls on the other side of town and then the next, we were all fucked up drunk on pills trying to drive our way back to the theatre from memory. Shit didn’t work out… We did, however, get to stay in a haunted house where the lady who used to live there hung herself and her dog sometime around the turn of the century. I imagine my sister, Ashley, will get a big kick out of that. (Not as an enthusiast of the paranormal, but as a dog lover.)

9:55 PM* – BOB:
*(from the distant future (Day 12), but faking like it’s still Day 3)

The party. Right! I ran into a pal that I’d originally gotten to know while working on a TV show in New Orleans a few years back. Neither of us lived there. She hailed from Massachusetts and I HQed in Austin. But we were both in NOLA working on this show called “How’s Your News” and it was a fucking blast. The show basically had us running around with a gang of man-on-the-street-reporting adults with disabilities. These disabilities ran from mental retardation and Down Syndrome to cerebral palsy and Williams Syndrome (a.k.a. Cocktail Party Syndrome). And filming that show was some of the most fun and funniest shit I’d ever witnessed. At night when the reporters slept, the crew and the reporter-wranglers partied our asses off. In New Orleans. Booze. Strip clubs. You know. The usual.

Among the things I’ve learned in life, I discovered that when a lesbian says she “fucked” a gal, she could mean that she finger-fucked said gal. I know, I don’t get it either. That’s fucked up. Some of our other definitions of sex and related terminology didn’t jibe much better. Like a girl-girl-guy “threesome” that is just a bunch of finger fuckin, isn’t really a threesome in my book. It’s a lez-out with a dude nearby. Maybe our differences are because she’s a Yankee.

Anyway, Sarah P, it was great to see you! I hope you enjoy NOLA and kick ass as a Big Easy Roller Girl.